Denise: I can’t believe you, you, you…bitch!

Heather: Is this Joan Collins? I told you I couldn’t to the Dynasty reunion because Linda Evans creeps me out!

D: It’s not Tom Collins you big stupid pants, it’s Denise!

H: (Thinking) Denise…Denise…OW!

D: You were thinking again, weren’t you?

H: Maybe…Oh, this is the the former Mrs. Sheen, or shall I call you Miss Dull now, because like, that’s the opposite of sheen!

D: Um, I think you mean shine, Heather. Like the shine on your forehead when I saw you on Entertainment Tonight for the that disease party fundraiser thing!

H: (Growing impatient) What do you want Denise?

D: I want you to stop lying and trying to ruin my career.

H: Career? I’m gonna tell David Spade you said that and he’ll make a really funny, mean joke about it, and he’ll smirk when he says it and we’ll both laugh about it when we color each others hair with Preference by L’Oreal.

D: You’d better not or I’ll tell Richie Sambora to write a song about you and your saggy butt and that weird left pinky toe of yours!

H: The jokes on you, he can’t even read let alone write! I can’t believe I let you kiss me on Spin City. I probably have rabies now! The next time you go on Extra why don’t you tell them about how eat a pint of Ben & Jerrys in one sitting.

D:Who told you that, Charlie? That’s a lie! He wouldn’t know anyway. He was too busy beating off to Dakota Fanning movies.

H: Are you finished? I have to go the studio to record my TJ Hooker season whatever DVD commentary.

D: Oh, that ought to be interesting. (Dopey voice) And this is the part where I yell freeze and shake my hair…

H: GOODBYE!

Filed under: My Way Of Life