Last night mother stayed up until 1 in the morning judging the Windy City Gay Idol singing competition. I was part of a trio of celebrity judges that offered some rather glib comments after each singer’s efforts. I had reservations at first because I have never been a big fan of American Idol the pre-fab pop machine star maker but hey, as Ethel Merman said. ‘You gotta keep up with the times kid!’. There were 17 goddamned contestants last night and they were all MEN. There were so many really cute slim-hipped boys there that I felt fat. I squeezed into my super$$$ J Lindeberg pants that BC Kalz talked me into getting in 2002 and my fave Laundry Industry ‘X’ shirt. I kept my Prada glasses on to look smart and to hide the meteoric blemish on my face. The liquor flowed freely and I sat there with my soda water at midnight in nightclub on a school night. Luckily Peter Mavrik kept me company all night. Love that boy. I also got to know a lot about Teriyaki, Hydrates local diva in residence who was a lot of fun and not as scary as I was told she would be. Amy Matheny is a kickass hostess as well. The other judge was Nightlines editor in chief Kirk Williamson. Stephen Rader was MIA, the bitch. The contestants were for the most part, very good. As most of you know, I try to look on the bright side of everything… but good Lord, I can’t lie- unless it gets me something I want very badly. I guess I’m known for my Simonish/Joan comments when called for. I try to say what everyone’s thinking.

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO REPAY ME FOR THE 3 MINUTES YOU HAVE JUST STOLEN FROM MY LIFE!

Filed under: My Way Of Life