Last night was the final night of auditions for Die! Mommie, Die!. Cheryl and I saw over 60 people. Did I mention we have a Lady director? She’s a real lady. We had to add a night the response was so good. I have to hand it to Chicago actors, and actors in general. Auditioning is tough. Youhave to have  a thick skin and keep positive. We had a few no shows but the turnout in sub zero weather was fabulous. Think about it. Would you want to schlep to some church to perform a monologue in front of people you don’t know as they stare at you and judge you to be in a show that will most likely deprove you of future social activity and probably money. We pay, but not nearly what actors are worth. We can’t afford to. Many theater companys don’t pay at all. Almost half of our budget goes to renting the space.

When I got home I made an omelette and watched Make Me a Supermodel because I actually know one of the potential supermodel’s, Ronnie Kroell from 4 +1 Productions. He dated one of my elves in Rudolph the Red-Hosed Reindeer in 2003 (I think). He’s doing very well on the show because he’s actually nice, and is willing to do what it takes. He has a great attitude and it shows. It’s also nice that he’s totally OUT and honest about his feelings. I suspect some of the other contestants are gay too but either don’t know it or are in the closet.  Of course it can’t replace my favorite reality show, Project Runway. While PR isn’t as good as last season it is still immensely watchable, and nobody can beat Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn as hosts. My favorite GERMAN Heidi moment came this past Wednesday when one of the most annoying contestants, who I can’t stand- Ricky, cried for the kazillionth time when he found out he finally won a challenge. Heidi asked him what he was doing- like she had never seen tears before. They’re tears, Heidi. Some human beings do this when they are sad or in some cases very happy. Heidi stared blankly at him as if she were some beautiful alien scientist from Venus.

Sometimes I pretend I am Heidi while I sit behind the table during auditions. “We thought your audition was flat and lifeless. We asked for sadness and what you gave us was just SAD. You’re OUT”. Callbacks are tomorrow.

Filed under: My Way Of Life